


do not be afraid

by wheezyhowell



Series: Chapter one [one shots] [3]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Depression, Love, M/M, Sad, Secrets, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 07:50:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12127866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheezyhowell/pseuds/wheezyhowell
Summary: 'sitting silently next to a friend who's hurting may be the best gift we can give' -unknown





	do not be afraid

Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilt. He knew he shouldn't have given into his urges but he just couldn't resist. The cold metal razor slid across his skin with ease, letting the blood run down his arm.  _ ‘And Ryan always wonders why I wear long sleeves.’  _ Shane thought looking down at the damage he’s done to himself. Sliding the razor across his skin several more times pressing harder with each stroke. He was about to do it one last time when there was a knock at his door. Cleaning himself up very quickly, pulling his sleeves down out of guilt, and putting his arm behind his back, he ran to the door. “Shane it’s me. I brought you some food since you called in sick. I wanted to check up on you.” Ryan said worriedly hoping his boyfriend would answer soon.  _ ‘Oh shit. He’s gonna kill me.’  _ Shane thought while he opened the door. “Aww you haven't even gotten out of your pajamas, here,” he said handing him the bag of food. Shane put it on the coffee table and embraced Ryan in a tight hug. “Oh” Ryan was caught off guard, “is everything alright?” Shane didn’t know how to respond so he let go of him and started on the food. Ryan sat down on the couch next to Shane looking increasingly worried. “Shane are you sure everything's alright? Is there anything you want to talk about?” Shane stuffed his face full of food avoiding Ryan's big, brown, worried eyes. “Shane if… if it’s… that… again you can tell me. I promise I won’t be mad.” 

“It’s nothing.”

“Alright. Whatever you say.” but Ryan knew he wasn’t telling him something so he kept pressing. “So what have you been doing today? Have you been any getting rest? Do you want me to take your temperature?” Shane flushed red hot and now couldn’t even look in his direction. “I t-t-took a nap at four a-a-and I ate some soup.” He said shakily. “Do you wanna tell me anything else?” Ryan said looking at Shane. “Shut up!” Shane shouted at him. “Shane stop avoiding me! I want you to be happy!” Shane wanted to show him, cry with him, tell him everything but he just couldn’t. “I just can’t.” 

“I’ll make you take off your shirt! I don’t want you to be doing this to yourself! It’s dangerous Shane! I love you too much to watch you destroy yourself like this!” Ryan shouted at him now standing up. 

“I wasn’t…”

“Don’t lie to me, Shane. Just tell me the truth!” This rang through Shane’s ears like a gunshot and he just knew he had to do it. Shane pulled up his left sleeve showing Ryan the fresh cuts on his wrist. “Shane… I… “ Ryan said as Shane fell to his knees, crying. Ryan dropped down next to him and scooped him into a hug. “It’s alright… it’s alright… “

“It's not alright! It will never be alright! I'm so sorry…” 

“What you've done isn't okay but you'll be alright. I promise… I-I-I promise you'll be alright.”

“Ryan…I'm scared…please don't leave me…” 

“Do not be afraid. I'll always be here for you.”


End file.
